Let's Make Out!
by expletive deleted
Summary: Kaiba needs power and Marik has demands that won't be denied. And this is not nearly as serious as that made it sound.


Pairing: Marik Ishtar x Seto Kaiba

Notes:  
a) I pick up my medical knowledge from hearsay.  
b) Timeline? What timeline?  
c) This is very, very silly.  
d) I disclaim.

**Let's make out!**

"So besides your Item, what else do you have to offer KaibaCorp?" Kaiba asked, managing to tone his business-voice down to chillingly impersonal rather than illegally offensive.

Marik stretched out his legs in his chair, getting comfortable. "An effective black market operation with global connections in your field. And a really big bodyguard."

"There will be nothing you need more. Have him trained in defensive card skills," Kaiba said blandly, without looking away from the computer screen.

"So tell me, is this where you take all the people you wish to know more about? It's not much of a first date," Marik said, a teasing lilt in his voice.

"This is a business meeting. And if it were a date ... do you always take your manservant on yours?"

"Your brother's on the videocom link," Marik countered, as Odion cast a grim look on Kaiba.

"That's in case of mind control."

"Paranoid, aren't you?"

"If we're going to play at diagnosis ... Dissociative Identity Disorder sufferer, and megalo-monomaniac, aren't you?"

"Yes. That's quite accurate." Marik looked impressed, Odion depressed.

"Now, back to business ... since that 'Millennium Item' cannot be taken from your clasping handsâ€""

"Really Kaiba, if you wanted to paw me, all you had to do was try." Marik put effort into looking particularly lascivious; people had combusted on being exposed to less.

"Moving right along. You can use that 'Millennium Rod' to help me in business matters, and I can certainly make it worth your while monetarily."

"We both want more than that, Kaiba..."

"Man!" Mokuba said from over the videocom. "Keep it in your pants!"

"Mokuba, from now on you're going to school in a monastery. Marik, listen to my little brother."

"I was talking business!" Marik protested. "I want The Limitless Power Of The Pharaoh, and you want to be the Number One Duellist In The World again!"

Kaiba finally looked up from the computer to slide Marik a look of diamond-edged annoyance. "Kindly stick to your own catchphrase. I hold the record for saying 'Number One Duellist In The World' the most in one half hour, and I am at least not giving that up."

"Hey, whaddaya know! _I_ am the one to say 'The Limitless Power Of The Pharaoh' the most!" Marik beamed and deposited himself into Kaiba's lap. "We have so much in common. Let's make out!"

While Kaiba had no visible reaction (which is not to say that he wasn't detonating on the inside), Mokuba went into conniptions. Then he hauled himself off the floor and watched the screen with avid eyes to see what his brother would do. He hadn't seen a good horror movie in forever.

Beyond sighing a soft expletive and assuming a look of resignation, Odion had done nothing more than avert his eyes.

Kaiba was silent, trying to put his brain back into order. "You know what Marik means, right big brother?" Mokuba asked curiously. He wasn't handy only for translating ancient texts; sometimes big bro needed help with more everyday speech patterns (he really needed to get out more).

"Yes, Mokuba." Kaiba shot another of those _looks_ at his brother.

"Oh, come on!" Marik exclaimed, not used to being ignored at all, never mind while wriggling in someone's lap. "You can't possibly be more sexually repressed than me! I lived underground with people who were ugly, old, and/or family, and then the megalomania kicked in!"

"I assumed..." Kaiba glanced at Odion.

"You will NOT give him any ideas," Odion said in a voice that drew thunderclouds into the centre of the sky and made the ground tremble.

"Brother! _Brother!_ He's like my brother!" Marik yelled.

"Not lover?" Kaiba asked.

"NO!"

"Ah. Then never mind. I believe you mentioned something about making out."

"...At last! The nearly limitless power of KaibaCorp is mine!"

"You will bow before my superior skills!"

Odion and Mokuba traded speaking glances, and left their crazier halves to themselves.


End file.
